Playing With Fire

[clubparadise]

playing with fire
dbsk(jyj)/snsd – jaejoong/jessica – pg13
6041w~
russian roulette: but of the course, the first round would be no fun.
warning: crude language and character death
a/n: jessica edit made by the lovely silentlybelieve, thank you so much bb ♥
a/n 2: inspired by douc's fic ashes, ashes, we all fall down because you are perfect

The room smells musky, a heavy scent he can't avoid, and the dim light hanging from the ceiling doesn't allow him to see anything much except her – she's standing up, leaning over the dirty table in front him, and he can see down her shirt, a thin piece of fabric that didn't cover up much in the first place. Jaejoong remembers the innocent girl he thought she was when she smiles at him, and if his hands weren't tied up behind him he doesn't think he would be able to restrain himself. She twirls the gun in her perfectly manicured hands and smirks. "You ready to play?" He's Korea's best shot, Kim Jaejoong. Literally. A six-year and counting Korean Secret Service agent, traveled around the world two and a half times and currently working at the head of the dual partnership with the Korean-American Secret Alliance agency for three of the four years he's been involved; his English isn't the absolute best but Jaejoong prides himself in being at the top of the services anyways – he's got that, if anything. He's sitting in the secluded office of Underground with Yoochun, drinking dull-tasting water. Yoochun holds out a beer and Jaejoong shakes his head, despite the ache in his stomach. "Still don't drink?" "There's a reason I'm the best at all of this," Jaejoong responds and Yoochun snorts. "You not drinking alcohol is not one of those reasons, you ass." Jaejoong shrugs. The room is startlingly clean, pristine white floors and white walls, an expensively adorned kitchen on one side and a wall of high machinery on the other. The contrast is strangely unamusing and Jaejoong thinks he might have been doing this for too long. "What are you thinking about?" He sighs. "I think I've gotten tired of running around," he finally answers. Yoochun snorts again. He's got a bad habit of never taking anything seriously, something Jaejoong has grown long accustomed to. "Took you long enough." Yoochun sets his beer can down on the table Jaejoong's sitting on and turns to the row of cabinets at his right, all locked by retina decode. He pulls a thin file from one of the shelves after opening three different cabinets and slides it towards Jaejoong, smiling. "Maybe that'll fix your little problem." Jaejoong stares at the file for a second, wondering if he really wants to open it. Every opened file is a promised mission and this is getting tiring, the lack of settlement. "You won't regret it, I promise." He sighs again, and then reaches out to the file. flipping it open to the first and only page in the folder. "Where's the rest of it?" Yoochun takes a sip of his beer and his face is unusually grim. "That's it. That's the only information we have." Jaejoong stares at the paper, the only information her name and organization, an objective, and a blurry picture.

She's prettier in person, Jessica Jung. Jaejoong doesn't know exactly how he should address her, but he knows she's beautiful and there's a lot more to her than meets the eye. He tracks her down first at the Seoul Shopping Center. She's buying shoes, apparently, trying on high priced heels adorned with studs and spikes and outrageous colors. There's nothing special about the affair except maybe the expensive tags – she's rich, but Jaejoong isn't all that surprised. Any underground service pays well. He follows after her for two weeks and nothing happens. Jessica stays at home most of the time, and she watches a lot of Korea's Next Top Model reruns. Sometimes he catches her watching the music shows or a variety marathon, but for the most part it's the same thing over again. She goes out to eat one night (sushi) with her friends, all of which seem fairly up there but nothing in the secret service agency, and another two days she works out at the gym, though that doesn't last for long. The last day of the two weeks she goes bowling with a huge group of friends and loses horribly, though she seems to be the highlight of the party. And then Jaejoong realizes, there's nothing out of the ordinary about Jung Jessica. She's an average person. She's just… Normal. He's untied now, the dirty metal table the only thing between them. Jessica slides the gun towards him, smirking when he catches it without having to tear his eyes away from her, and he thinks it'll always be a sixth sense. "You first." "What is this?" Jaejoong's voice is bitter; he can't help it. "What are you going to get out of this?" "No? Okay, then I'll go," but he steps back before she can reach for the weapon. "Hurry up." He twirls the gun in his hand and the familiar motion is sickening, how easy it all comes back to him. To think there was actually something there, and Jaejoong laughs sourly, holding it up towards her. "Fine. If that's what you want." She looks up and they hold each other's gaze, and the sound of the clock ticking is enough to drown out the erratic beating of his heart. Jaejoong shoots and the noise is deafening for the lack of a bullet. But of course, the first round would be no fun. Yoochun's favorite pastime is evidently dressing Jaejoong up like a pimp. He's dressed in Yoochun's favorite black suit, custom designed mask courtesy of Yoochun's weird friend Junsu, and he's being lead into a banquet hall with no knowledge of what exactly he's supposed to be doing. Yoochun is fan of the stupid cliche things from the action movies. Masquerade balls especially. ("they're so secretive and cool. i wish that's all secret agents had to do, go to masquerades." "you are so fucking weird," jaejoong says, tightening his tie because he was never good at these things. yoochun makes a face. "no need to make a face." "no need to be reenact all the action movies but you don't see me stopping," and yoochun shuts up after that.) Jessica's supposed to be meeting one of the representative agents of the International Underground Network and Yoochun says she's got the files on her. There's no possible way to find out where but your only job for now is to track her down and make sure they don't ever meet. The files can wait till later. The representative is a broad-shouldered, two-faced looking douche. Jaejoong remembers previous accounts attempting to work with him and how the guy's only real 'skill' was cheating people out of information and knowing how to make the proper escape. Jaejoong finds him just an annoying obstacle, at the most. Nothing of importance. He keeps track of the representative for two of the three hours that the event is supposed to be in occurrence, the itchy mask making his eyes burn and his skin sweat, when the guy disappears and suddenly Jessica is in his vicinity like it's a planned event. Jaejoong wonders if she knows someone's tracking by the way she moves, cautious steps with less grace than simple poise, and she's elegantly something. He doesn't know exactly how to describe her, but he follows after her anyways, and watches the way the train of her dress follows after, picking up dust and maybe something else too. She's to make a turn when he steps on her dress and Jessica barely catches herself on the wall she's about to disappear behind. "What the–" "Did I catch you off guard?" he says, and suddenly Jaejoong is glad that they're masked because he can feel himself turning red, the way she turns to look at him with her burning black irises. The look is a deadly sort of beautiful. "I'm sorry about that, you just looked so pretty I couldn't help myself." "Could you please move? I've got somewhere to be going," she says irritatedly, and he leans down closer to her face, smiling at the slowly disappearing frown on her face. She smells like flowers and a hint of secrecy. "And leave me here all alone? I'm afraid I can't do that," Jaejoong whispers. She smirks at him lightly in return, and Jaejoong likes the way she plays along. "And why is that?" "You're too beautiful to run off on your own." He half means it, too. Her background is scarcely existent, he finds. He goes through files and files of KASA and IUN classified documents and searches online through hacker servers and Jaejoong thinks he's been through basically everything except Jessica herself. She's clean, for the most part, just like him. The only information regards the agent work. Just like him. Her parents died when she was sixteen in San Francisco, in a freak accident that was labeled as a car wreck, and since then she's been recruited under the Korean American Secret Alliance. (jaejoong's mom passed away when he was born and his dad used to be part of the kasa before he was kicked out for defamation of character and jaejoong's been raised the same as her, under a foreign agency since.) She's also got a sister five years younger than her who still lives in California and doesn't know of Jessica's existence – she's a dancer, apparently. Jessica's got the highest female success record in the company (three missions under his own record) and then suddenly she was put on the elimination list at the end of 2011. She's been a member of the International Underground Network since. Jaejoong finds himself wondering about her a lot. She's beautiful, and she seems worth so much more than this meaningless job that makes its workers run around only to find nothing. He thinks back to the masquerade and her black eyes, the hollowness of her cheekbones and the infinite holes he stared into, a flavored cigarette hanging from ruby red lips, held in place by dainty fingers and pretty hands. Jung Jessica, and he thinks about her a lot, and what she could have been if not this. Jaejoong thinks she could be worth so much more. (just like him) "My turn." He tosses the gun towards her and there's a rattling sound as it collides with the ring on her hand, a thick diamond she probably got from the boss in reward – capture the enemy and the special treatment is endless. Jessica winces and Jaejoong almost goes to her, ready to hold her hand and comfort her. She looks up at him and it's almost like she was expecting the same. Her eyes darken then and she smiles. It's disgusting. "Ready?" Jaejoong scowls at her. "Just get it over with." Jessica raises her eyebrow in amusement, and it's like her every move is strategically planned to piss him off and waken him up. The memories flood back with every motion. "Someone's impatient, aren't we?" Her hand doesn't shake when she shoots, but the empty bullet fails to kill anyways. He's into his second month of tracking her. Jessica still is living into the ordinary and Jaejoong finds the repetitiveness a bit aggravating, the way she lives life so simply and there is nothing remotely spectacular about anything she does. Until one night, Jessica leaves her house dressed in an evidently hiked up mini, a fiery red color skin tight with fitting black stilettos, and Jaejoong trails one block after her as she makes herself to Ellui, Seoul's high status club. She's friends with the valet, apparently, and slips in ahead of everyone else, and a couple of minutes later he's making his way through the crowds of people only steps behind her. It only takes four and a half shots of a mixed beverage – something kind of fruity with a bitter aftertaste, he gets the same as her, just virgin styled – until she's on the dance floor and pulling at the ties of unknown high-up theres. Jaejoong watches her for a while and she looks kind of funny, moving to trashy pop music and looking so comfortable after such relaxation the past month. He wonders what sparked her to suddenly come out when she seems to be with no one but herself, and he can't spot any sort of underground worker for her to meet up with. She's just… Clubbing. And it's frustrating how easy she's making it all. He brings himself to his feet when he starts to feel light headed from the sugary taste and pushes past drunkards until he's in front of Jessica Jung, looking flawless in her trashed state, concealer running and the heat frizzing up her hair. She smiles when she sees him even though he's just another unfamiliar face and pulls him closer, one hand holding an empty beer can that seems to be her dance partner and only companion. Jaejoong doesn't do much dancing, just lets her fall against him as she tries to make herself seem halfway sober, and the whole event is a sort of perfect that he can't make out. He can't say he minds. Jaejoong follows her after the club when she finally runs off of the dance floor and he can hear her throwing up in the ladies room. She heaves a number of times he forgets to count and then trips out of the bathroom, passing by Jaejoong without even noticing his presence and stumbling out of the club in her pretty heels and tearing dress. Jessica finally stops at the bus stop, head hanging in between her legs as she sits on the bench and makes gagging noises. He doesn't think he's ever seen such an attractive drunk person. "Excuse me," he finally says, after sitting next to her what seems like at least half an hour, "are you planning on going home any time soon?" It takes her a while, but she turns her head over to look at him slowly and smirks. There's some dried substance at the corner of her lip and Jaejoong resists the urge to wipe it from her mouth. "Why? Were you gonna take me if no one else did?" The bitterness of her voice is kind of harsh; he wonders what exactly she's done before. "I just thought I should walk you home in case someone else tries to do that." Jessica scoffs. "How gentlemanly of you." Then she turns to look at him, eyes rolling down to glare at him, and she sits up. "Well, to ease your concern, I'd like you to know I can get home fine without you." Jaejoong smiles. "Okay then." He stands up from the bench and winks at her, and Jessica raises an eyebrow at him. "Have a safe trip home." He turns on his heel and slowly takes a step away from the bench, counting the seconds ticking on his watch, the cool air fresh against his flushed skin. It takes her twenty seconds past the average but Jessica finally calls after him, tripping over apologies and I'm kind of not sober, mind walking me home? There's something different about the way she says it but she says it finally and Jaejoong walks her home, declines her offer and then accepts it when she asks him to stay for tea. They drink and don't say anything and after three cups she's tugging him into bed and telling him he can be the exception. Jaejoong was always the exception. He feels like he's being watched. "You're so slow," Jessica mumbles as she examines her nails, like they're perfectly manicured for such an occasion, and then glances up at him briefly. "Especially for someone with such little patience." "Shut up." She looks up from her hands and one side of her lips is raised – she's taunting him, like she's been doing the whole of their relationship, whatever that may be, and then says, "Make me." Jaejoong feels himself heating up and holds up the gun, steadying himself with both arms. It's shaking and even if the bullet is there, he's bound to miss with his jittery aim, and Jessica is smiling that sickening smile. "Your skills aren't so amazing now, are they?" He almost wishes it could have been done with when he shoots. The sleeping together becomes normal. He doesn't ask anything of her and she doesn't demand anything back, just calls him over once in a while telling him she's feeling lonely or bored, and Jaejoong goes over for the night, leaving usually around three or four and on the rare occasions staying until six or seven. She's still asleep by the time he's gone and doesn't ever notice the way he occasionally rummages through the drawers of her dresser or the cabinets in her kitchen, because sometimes he forgets that he's on a mission and she isn't just anyone. But even then, Jessica is still pretty good in bed for someone with such an innocent face. He doesn't dwell much on their night at the club, but even with one hand holding a crushed beer can and the other running down his chest, Jaejoong still thinks she looked like a kid that night. A seventeen or eighteen year old at max, not some expertise agent like the files read. Jaejoong wakes up one morning with a pounding headache and turns to see Jessica buried under his arm. She's snoring lightly and he blinks himself awake only to find himself at her apartment; this is the fourth time this week and it's only Thursday – it's getting out of hand, and it's also already six thirty in the morning. He looks over at Jessica, all but her neck up hidden under the covers, sleeping peacefully like they haven't just done everything and more the night before. Jaejoong thinks she looks something short of beautiful. (jessica would be all the way there if she wasn't the person he was trying to capture but then he wonders if that's part of the reason she's so attractive. always want what you can't have, he thinks. he wonders what yoochun would think of that.) When the clock hits seven Jaejoong forces himself up and starts pulling himself out of the bed, but then her arm latches on to his and she whines something incomprehensible in her sleep. He smiles and finally forces himself to pry her arm off of his and tuck her back into bed, where maybe they'll sleep it over and Jaejoong will finally realize that this is the girl he's trying to destroy. But only after another half an hour with his sleeping beauty. He's in Underground again. It's the first time since Yoochun's offered the mission and they are sitting back in their same positions, Yoochun offering him a beer and Jaejoong declining once more. It feels unnerving, uncomfortable, awkward. "How's it coming along, anyways?" Yoochun suddenly asks, and he's staring at Jaejoong with a weird sort of curiosity; for some reason everything is different and unfamiliar and he almost regrets picking this up in the first place. "I haven't heard much about Jessica. Did you find anything on her?" He hasn't told Yoochun about their situation yet. "Uh… Not really. She doesn't do anything ever. And there's nothing in her house–" "You've been in her house?" "–that indicates she's any sort of spy. I don't know man, she seems normal to me." Yoochun raises his eyebrow. "You know what she's a part of Jaejoong. There's evidence. She's in the IUN and she's holding leaked information and if we don't stop her we're all screwed. This isn't about losing your job, it's your life." "Yeah, I know man, but are you sure? Like you're sure she hasn't maybe given this up? I don't see anything about–" "Are you sleeping with her, Jaejoong?" Jaejoong stops. The sudden question catches him off guard and Yoochun's peering at him strangely and if anything, Yoochun is his best friend more than he is some coworker. The closest thing to it, at least, and if anyone he can see through him. "Yeah. So? I've slept with a lot of girls. Yoochun stands up from the table. "Do you like her?" "What?! I–" But Yoochun is already shaking his head and crushing the beer can in his hand, and Jaejoong can feel himself turning red because this wasn't ever supposed to get out of hand, and it was just a retirement mission because he's done with running into this shit, and what is Jessica Jung in this world of spies and lies, and he can't believe he's saying it but, "Okay fine yes, I like her! But it's – it's not like I'm doing anything–" "Yes, yes you are!" and Yoochun is yelling now. "Do you even know why I put you on this mission? Do you know why I saved this for you? Do you even know what files she's holding, Kim Jaejoong?" "Just liste – wait, what?" Jaejoong stands up from the table but Yoochun isn't facing him. "What are you talking about?" "The files she's holding have your dad's name all over them. Whatever lies or fuckery your dad was spreading around about this alliance, because he wanted to be done with it and decided to throw it all out the window so he could try having a family and maybe being normal and whatever the hell it was, that's everything she's got on her. And now you're falling for her?" Yoochun scoffs, walking towards the exit of the Underground twirling his keys in his hands. "You're taking the same path as your dad, aren't you, you little fucker." He turns around once to look at his best friend. Jaejoong doesn't think he's ever seen Yoochun look so defeated. "Whatever, man. Do you whatever you want. I just thought you'd be different than the rest of this fucked up crew. I guess not." Jaejoong waits to feel the regret but it never comes and he wonders whether what he's been doing for the past twenty seven years is all a lie. The door locks automatically after Yoochun's last footstep and then it's all so funny, to Jaejoong. He starts laughing and when the tears come the feeling that follows is empty. She's twirling the gun in her fingers, the other hand resting on the table as she leans over to admire the weapon. Jessica is smiling at the gun like it is her most prized possession, a toy she's been desperate to play with for too long, and Jaejoong guesses it probably it is. Like now that it's in her hold, she could do pretty much anything. And there's only one thing she really wants to do. "Ready? I think this is the one," Jessica says. "I really do." "That'd be great," Jaejoong murmurs. "Then I could be done with you." Her smile turns around and she frowns at him mockingly, standing up from the table. "You're making this a lot more morbid than it should be, Kim Jaejoong." He hates the way she says his name. "Have a little fun." "What do you want me to do, dance around while you aim a gun at my head?" She grins. "That'd be nice. Want to try it?" Jaejoong returns the expression, sneering at her beautiful face, and the irony is unusually hilarious. "Over my dead body." Jessica scowls at him and when the sound of the shot echoes in the barricaded room with no bullet to follow through, Jaejoong starts to sweat. The game is almost done and now he's not so sure he's ready to finish playing. Yoochun's words don't stop running through his head. He thinks of Jessica, of liking Jessica and capturing Jessica, of wanting Jessica and destroying Jessica, and what exactly it is that would make him happy. His happiness. It's never been a factor before, in any of this. She calls him over one night and Jaejoong finds himself heading over there without hesitation, like he hasn't seen her face in so long and can't bear to be without it. Jessica opens the door and she's only wearing a robe, smiling at him with this irresistible grin and at that moment he hates himself – for loving her, for hurting her, he doesn't know. "Hey," she whispers, and then she fists her hands around the front of his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. "I missed you." Jaejoong waits until the last second to break away from her and pushes her gently inside the apartment so he can close the door behind them. "I, um, I've got something to tell you." "Hm?" Jessica's still holding on to his shirt and she's just staring ahead like he's a mannequin, and he doesn't know whether he likes that she treats him as that, and it's only him loving her. Or whatever it is, at least. Jaejoong doesn't even think he knows what loving feels like. "What do you have to tell me?" The words rush out before he can stop himself and whatever it all was before is destroyed. By the time he's finished, her hands drop have dropped from his shirt and wherever they were is just crinkled now, a cold feeling settling in his stomach. "I'm sorry, Jessica. I'm sorry for… That. Everything. And I had to tell you before you found out yourself so maybe you would, I don't know–" "I don't know, forgive you?" Jessica looks up at him and it's the first time he's seen her eyes so glazed over. "You think I would forgive you after that?" "Jessica, wait–" "I'm done with that shit, Jaejoong. I've been done with it ever since I was dropped from the KASA, and I've never picked it back up. I bet you don't even know why I was dropped, do you? You probably think it's betrayal like the rest of those fucking idiots." "Jessica–" There are tears in her eyes but none of them are spilling over, and she's not looking at him anymore. "Stop, don't say my name. I don't – I don't want to hear you say my name." Jessica takes a step back from him and the sudden sharp feeling is unfamiliar. He doesn't know what to make sense of and Jaejoong can't make a move. "Is that what you do with all the girls you spy on, then? Sleep with them until you get what you need and trash them to move on to the next girl?" The last time she looks at him is right then, a pained look mismatched with the smile on his face. "Well, then, Kim Jaejoong, if so, I'm quite honored to be one of those girls. Maybe I was something worthy then, hm?" Jessica stops picking up his calls. She stops responding to his texts, answering his voicemails, and she's never home when he tries to talk to her; it hurts, her lack of contact. The feeling is desolate and it's achingly unfamiliar. He misses talking to her and he misses holding her hand and he misses laying with her bed and he misses watching her sleep and he misses just seeing her face, her pretty face that is so different and so beautiful. Jaejoong misses everything that is Jung Sooyeon and for a moment he forgets that this is all some mission, just a way to track her down and destroy her like he's been doing to with everything else in his underground styled life. For that moment, Jaejoong realizes he likes being normal. He likes being just human. "We could stop this, you know. Just drop everything and run away." Jaejoong is gripping the gun in his hand tightly, and he can see the veins in his wrists popping out from the sharp grasp. He can feel the sweat trickling down his back and he just wants to hear her voice, wants her to respond, wants her to do something, anything. She's leaning against the wall with her arms folded across her chest. "You really think I would do that? When we're almost done?" Jessica smiles. "You always were a sore loser." "You can stop this, Jessica. I'm the only one here." "You think so, Jaejoong? You really think so?" Jessica stands up straight and takes a step towards him, eyes narrowing. "You don't think they're watching us, my crew, maybe yours? We were never alone, we still aren't alone, and we will never be alone. There was never an us, Jaejoong, despite what you might want to believe." He walks closer to her, gun still in tight grip, and soon Jaejoong's face is right in front of hers, so close that he's pushing her back against the wall. "Don't you remember what we had? All that we were?" "We weren't anything," she spits at him, but he can see the nervousness in her eyes, and he can hear her heart pounding. "Don't tell me you believe that." She scowls at him and tries to push him back, but Jaejoong has always been set and her attempt is useless. She slackens, and then out of nowhere her hand is reaching for the gun, pulling it from his grasp. "Give me that," Jessica grits, and her touch on his hand stings so suddenly that he lets go of the weapon. Jessica smiles and kicks him back away from her. "I'll just go for you," she says, breathing heavily, and then brings up the gun to hold against her own temple. "Let's hope it works." She shoots and evidently it doesn't. Jaejoong thinks he expected the ending all along. He goes to her apartment for the millionth time that week, early in the morning where she couldn't have possibly left yet. Jaejoong rings the doorbell and there is no response, not even a "go away!" that he got the first couple of weeks. There is nothing, and after twenty minutes he slumps against the door frame. Hours past and the sun sets. It rains for a couple of hours and he sits, drenched, waiting, thinking, hurting. Jessica stumbles at two in the morning holding a broken glass bottle and a packet of empty cigarettes. Her face is a pale yellow color and her hair is stringy and it occurs to Jaejoong that the reason she didn't answer was that she hadn't even gotten home the night before. "Jessica," her name falls from his lips involuntarily and she looks up. Even in her drunken state she seems to hate him. "Get out of here," she mumbles. "I don't want to see your face." Jessica trips past him and fumbles for the keys in the pocket of her dress, when Jaejoong decides he's done hurting and grabs her arm. "Let go of me!" she screams but he pulls her towards him and then he's holding her face, and even in the dreary weather and the dark night Jaejoong can make out the tears and beautiful lines of her face. "Have you ever wondered why I kept coming back here?" he suddenly whispers. "Why I never actually looked for your files, and why I never asked you about yourself, and why after that last time I kept chasing after you?" "Because you're a fucking whore," she spits back. "Now let go of me." Jaejoong cracks a smile and pulls her closer, wrapping one arm around her frighteningly thin frame and letting his hand drag down the strands of her limp hair. "It's because I love you, Jessica Jung. And it's because I don't give a shit about my past or yours." "Like I believe that–" "Like you should," he cuts off. "We're a pair of runaway agents with no family and nowhere left to go but with each other. Don't you think that should be enough?" Jessica doesn't have a response and Jaejoong can feel the way her heart is beating in her chest, next to his. He leans down and kisses her and when she doesn't let go Jaejoong thinks maybe they can both win. Jessica calls him a week after a week of their make up, her voice muffled by the loud voices of men and shots. "Your men–" She leads him into a trap, his beloved Jessica Jung. The International Underground Network captures him only eight days (three hours, six minutes, twenty-seven seconds, counting by the fingers when it comes to her) after they make up, and he doesn't understand even though her story is the last missing piece of this puzzle. "I've known who you were since masquerade one," she tells him, and then she leans in closer to him – it's the other way around this time, with his hands tied behind his back – and then her lips are against his ear, hot breath tickling his skin. "Don't think you'd have been able to do anything from the start." She's right, and to Jaejoong that is the worst part. She's had the gun in her possession for at least half an hour now. She's spinning it in her hands, tossing it from one to the other, and Jaejoong just watches her from his position on the chair; she looks beautiful, even with his death in her hands. Jessica smiles. "Oh, I could just drag this on forever." Her voice is giggly and he wishes he could enjoy this like her. "Do you have any last words for me, anything at all? I think the crew is kind of awaiting your disappearance now, with all the mess you've caused the past couple of months. I'd rather not be so quick about it, but what can I do," and Jessica leans into his face and winks, her eyelashes brushing the skin of his cheeks, the tickle inviting; she takes a long step back, then. "They're the boss." "You really are having fun, aren't you?" he says. Jaejoong can't help but smiling at her, now that it's over. "I'm happy for you." She turns to him and her eyes lose a bit of their luster, but it doesn't make a difference because she's finishing this and the gun is ready to end this game, claim a winner and execute a loser. "Did you want a last request?" Jessica asks again. "Can I have a kiss?" "What?" Jaejoong leans back in the chair, staring at her tauntingly, licking his dry lips. They've been in here for hours already, the glare of the light the only other sign of life apart from Jessica. "Just one kiss, like the old times." "Shut up." Jessica holds the gun out towards him and he can see the shaking of her arms, how nervously she's looking at him. "Come on, just one. You said I could request anything–" "Shut up, shut the fuck up!" Jaejoong can feel his heart tearing and Jessica is still aiming the gun at his head, her eyes welling with tears because maybe she's realized what this means too, whatever the end is and whatever that may bring her. "Shut up, don't say anything! I can kill you right now!" "Go ahead!" he yells. "Go ahead, kill me! Let me be done with this!" "Shut the fuck up, Kim Jaejoong! Shut up!" Jaejoong is smiling at her but he can feel his lips wavering and he doesn't know how much longer he can take this, their game and their past and this simple thing that spiraled so out of control. Maybe it was his fault, for falling in love. Is this love? Jaejoong still doesn't know how to love, really, because maybe then it wouldn't have turned out like this. "Just finish this, Jessica." "I – I can't, I can't shoot you, I can't fucking do this–" "We're nothing to each other anymore, Jessica, nothing–" "Stop saying my name!–" "Just press the fucking trigger–" "No!–" "We'll be done with, we won't have to suffer any longer–" "Shut up, you idiot, just shut up!" The gun is still shaking in her hand and then suddenly Jaejoong stands up, and from where her gun is aimed at his head shoots involuntarily at his chest and he hears a girl screaming. It doesn't sound like Jessica, but then his name falls from the girl's lips and he knows it is her. It's the last time he hears her say his name, and it still sounds beautiful. He hopes he loved her up until till the last second.

requests of the day
otp
chanyeol/seohyun
chanyeol/sehun
minho/krystal
sehun/kai

apparently i'm into whoring exo recently sigh
also i haven't edited this i'll come back tomorrow and not be lazy